Despite all the turmoil in the city, this paper received quite a few messages from readers about this week’s controversial review of the debut album My Heartfelt Apology. Music is subjective, so perhaps we were hasty in writing off the album entirely. On the other hand, in light of accusations that we put this album “on blast in the newspaper,” the editorial board would like to remind this paper’s readership that we can’t respond to anything anywhere else, so I’m not sure what you expected to happen.
However, this paper would like to express our sincere regrets for what some have called an unfair and callous response to an up and coming artist. The review had already hit the presses before Sunday evening, and some information was outdated. Even though this paper stands by the fact that it was funny and you were kind of asking for it by copping an attitude with me, I know you've been having a bad week and I regret piling on. And yes, I’m happy now. You did the right thing even if it feels awful. You were brave, you took responsibility, and you’re a better person for it, and that isn’t something you’re ever going to regret. Thanks for doing it, even if you didn’t necessarily do it for the editorial staff of the Harbinger. Unfortunately, you’re kind of stuck with me feeling responsible for you from now on and this is how I show it, so suck it up.
Finally, we have learned that the label of this album is extremely litigious, so we advise our readers to be extremely cautious in letting anyone borrow it.
Sincerely,
The Editorial Board of the Harbinger
SHIP WARS: Hero Clash!
Team Monstrous Beauty vs Team Flame Guardian
Which pair would win? Discuss!
Wellness Tips
This week, our on staff wellness guru reminds readers (and two in particular) that it’s okay and perfectly natural to feel anger. Readers, you don’t have to forgive anyone, that’s your choice and your choice alone. On the other hand, there’s nothing wrong with having complicated feelings, and letting other people reach their own conclusions. You don’t have to be angry on my behalf or anything. But you can be angry on your own behalf if you want to, or you can decide not to be. Things here are so complicated. The point is, I’m proud of both of you and how you’re handling it. I never doubted that you could. Sometimes ripping off bandages isn’t a bad thing, even if it’s painful.
For those who need an additional way to express their feelings, a new exercise class will teach you how to stop time for five minutes so you can take a deep breath, or just hit someone a lot while they're unable to stop you. Unfortunately, this class is highly exclusive, and most people don't have access to it. But if you do have access to it, we advise attempting to get on the waitlist this week! Next week, you may be able to book two classes, and imagine how much wellness you'll achieve.
To the reader with questions about apples, you’re right. But it was just personal, for you to keep an eye out and make sure everyone is safe.
Rita, Datz, I hope you guys are okay.
Heroes of the Week
Angel
A lover of cake, tea, and peace, Angel makes it to our list of Heroes of the Week with her bright disposition and smile. With some dazzle and sparkles, she continues to inspire hope in Oceanside and reminds them what justice and kindness mean. Her tea parties have always been the talk of the city because of how they bring the community together and lifts the barrier between civilian and hero. All proceeds made at the tea parties go to charity, though an Angel's blessing for any young tykes and babies is free of charge.
Angel is looking to donate the five billion dollars raised through her tea parties to these causes: young heroes, displaced families, and the backbone of our beautiful city the hardworking prinnies. As those projects are underway, she is offering seminars on gun safety with local heroes Ranger Rocket, Chienee, and Zephyr.
Chienee
Villains believe they're the hunter, but they're wrong. Chienee comes into our list this week for the highest count of villains tracked and captured. All criminals fall under her scope and at the barrel of her gun as long as they leave a trail behind. Though feared by the wrongdoers, she's beloved by the community for being just a girl (or is she?) which is incredibly relatable to the younger generations. "Emo," "scene," "chillax," and "fetch" have caught on as trendy slang!
On her free time, she offers walking the dogs of Oceanside and volunteering at animal shelters. A dog's best friend can only be your best friend. Recently, Angel announced her collaboration with Chienee on teaching the populace of Oceanside about gun safety with local heroes Ranger Rocket and Zephyr.
Unfortunately, we cannot confirm if Chienee had a hand in sniffing out the ex-mayor for the villain he is, but it wouldn't be a surprise to us if she pointed heroes the right direction.
Brave Smile
When people think hero, Brave Smile is one of the first to come to mind. A more traditional style of hero, he's best known for putting countless of villains behind bars. The most recent act of heroism we've seen from Brave Smile is the rescue mission that saved middle schoolers stuck in a tomb of rocks caused by loose rampaging rhinos.
From a number of interviews, we learn a bit about Brave Smile's training regimen which includes sleeping on sharp rocks for weeks... It trended for some time as the "Brave Smile Challenge" before being discouraged by Brave Smile himself. He had said he would provide a cost-effective training regimen that anyone can do, so anyone can become Brave Smile.
When that will be? We do not know, but we're sitting tight with the rest of you!
The Greatest Psychic Of The 21st Century
Known for his advanced psychic techniques and words of wisdom, the Greatest Psychic of the 21st Century makes for not only a great hero, but also a salesman. After providing finance advice to the elderly, in which they’ve made smart decisions on numerous contracts, he is often found lifting up troubled teens. Through him, Oceanside finds itself with a growing number of fine aspiring young heroes! Great pupils only exist because of great mentors.
Many heroes make compromises to serve justice, but the Greatest Psychic of the 21st Century tries in earnest to work within the law. From filling out his tax forms properly and truthfully, driving way below the speed limit, and working hard at his day job, he also makes a good role model for civilians. Below you'll find his most recent profit margin.
Let us all appreciate our heroes of the week and remember their good deeds!
PAGE 2
However, this paper would like to express our sincere regrets for what some have called an unfair and callous response to an up and coming artist. The review had already hit the presses before Sunday evening, and some information was outdated. Even though this paper stands by the fact that it was funny and you were kind of asking for it by copping an attitude with me, I know you've been having a bad week and I regret piling on. And yes, I’m happy now. You did the right thing even if it feels awful. You were brave, you took responsibility, and you’re a better person for it, and that isn’t something you’re ever going to regret. Thanks for doing it, even if you didn’t necessarily do it for the editorial staff of the Harbinger. Unfortunately, you’re kind of stuck with me feeling responsible for you from now on and this is how I show it, so suck it up.
Finally, we have learned that the label of this album is extremely litigious, so we advise our readers to be extremely cautious in letting anyone borrow it.
Sincerely,
The Editorial Board of the Harbinger
Which pair would win? Discuss!
For those who need an additional way to express their feelings, a new exercise class will teach you how to stop time for five minutes so you can take a deep breath, or just hit someone a lot while they're unable to stop you. Unfortunately, this class is highly exclusive, and most people don't have access to it. But if you do have access to it, we advise attempting to get on the waitlist this week! Next week, you may be able to book two classes, and imagine how much wellness you'll achieve.
To the reader with questions about apples, you’re right. But it was just personal, for you to keep an eye out and make sure everyone is safe.
Rita, Datz, I hope you guys are okay.
A lover of cake, tea, and peace, Angel makes it to our list of Heroes of the Week with her bright disposition and smile. With some dazzle and sparkles, she continues to inspire hope in Oceanside and reminds them what justice and kindness mean. Her tea parties have always been the talk of the city because of how they bring the community together and lifts the barrier between civilian and hero. All proceeds made at the tea parties go to charity, though an Angel's blessing for any young tykes and babies is free of charge.
Angel is looking to donate the five billion dollars raised through her tea parties to these causes: young heroes, displaced families, and the backbone of our beautiful city the hardworking prinnies. As those projects are underway, she is offering seminars on gun safety with local heroes Ranger Rocket, Chienee, and Zephyr.
Villains believe they're the hunter, but they're wrong. Chienee comes into our list this week for the highest count of villains tracked and captured. All criminals fall under her scope and at the barrel of her gun as long as they leave a trail behind. Though feared by the wrongdoers, she's beloved by the community for being just a girl (or is she?) which is incredibly relatable to the younger generations. "Emo," "scene," "chillax," and "fetch" have caught on as trendy slang!
On her free time, she offers walking the dogs of Oceanside and volunteering at animal shelters. A dog's best friend can only be your best friend. Recently, Angel announced her collaboration with Chienee on teaching the populace of Oceanside about gun safety with local heroes Ranger Rocket and Zephyr.
Unfortunately, we cannot confirm if Chienee had a hand in sniffing out the ex-mayor for the villain he is, but it wouldn't be a surprise to us if she pointed heroes the right direction.
When people think hero, Brave Smile is one of the first to come to mind. A more traditional style of hero, he's best known for putting countless of villains behind bars. The most recent act of heroism we've seen from Brave Smile is the rescue mission that saved middle schoolers stuck in a tomb of rocks caused by loose rampaging rhinos.
From a number of interviews, we learn a bit about Brave Smile's training regimen which includes sleeping on sharp rocks for weeks... It trended for some time as the "Brave Smile Challenge" before being discouraged by Brave Smile himself. He had said he would provide a cost-effective training regimen that anyone can do, so anyone can become Brave Smile.
When that will be? We do not know, but we're sitting tight with the rest of you!
Known for his advanced psychic techniques and words of wisdom, the Greatest Psychic of the 21st Century makes for not only a great hero, but also a salesman. After providing finance advice to the elderly, in which they’ve made smart decisions on numerous contracts, he is often found lifting up troubled teens. Through him, Oceanside finds itself with a growing number of fine aspiring young heroes! Great pupils only exist because of great mentors.
Many heroes make compromises to serve justice, but the Greatest Psychic of the 21st Century tries in earnest to work within the law. From filling out his tax forms properly and truthfully, driving way below the speed limit, and working hard at his day job, he also makes a good role model for civilians. Below you'll find his most recent profit margin.